Tina is an oligodendroglioma and a fat lard.

So I named my tumor Tina. Any of you named Tina please don't take offense. I knew some Tinas in my younger years and didn't like any of them. I only know one now, and she is a nice person, but the line from Napoleon Dynamite is so fitting. Tina the Tumor.

So I have an oligodendroglioma. It is a grade II. This is the best prognosis that could be expected. Olis generally grow slower and all signs indicate that mine is growing very slowly. As mentioned before it is in a bad spot. Surgery is not an option. I would definitely have side effects. Radiation is the preferred method of treatment, but has serious side effect including memory loss, motor skill impairment, and possible speech issues. Thus, waiting is a good alternative if it remains slow growing. This way I will be old when I have these side effects so all will seem normal. Just kidding- I love all of you baby boomers. A test is being done to see if there is a deletion of the 1p, and 19q (or something like that)chromosome in the tumor. If it is not present, I can have a specific chemotherapy that has shown the ability to fight this type of tumor.

Things that are good for me: my age, grade II (vs III or IV), the histology (olig), size (2.5 cm X 3.5 cm), not across the mid-line of my brain. Also, the manifestation of the tumor through seizures is a good thing. It means my body is recognizing in a dramatic way that something is not right. I also have no other symptoms other than the seizures.

Bad things are location due to inoperability, and the side effects of potential treatment. I can't drink too much (which is my preferred relaxation technique) due to the seizure meds and stress on the liver. How lame is that, now that I have a full bottle of Loritabs and am stressed more than ever, I can't enjoy them with a few cocktails. Some of you are saying shame, shame. Others are trying to remember my garage code. Beware I have a gun, a mohawk and a large dog.

Even holistic healers say that it is difficult to completely rid oneself from primary brian tumors without surgery. I would not mind surprising everyone or being that one case.

I spent about 5 hours last night researching and based upon everything I found, I expected that this is what I had. I told Alisa this morning, "We are hoping for a Grade II Olig." So this is good and semi expected news.

So essentially there is a bomb strapped to me, and they can't cut the wire cause it will explode. If they try to mess with it, it could explode; but it is not making any ticking sounds, so yea! Oh, and they will tell me if it has started ticking in 3 months. I am fine with this news, but my sweet wife Alisa, is needless to say, anxious.

We love our good friends and great family and are so grateful to have you around. Thank you to everyone who has brought us dinner lately. You are awesome. Alisa does not like to cook when she is pregnant and so it has been a lifesaver. Also, thank you for the prayers, thoughts, good vibes. We are feeling them and I know they are working. To people reading this who have been through similar situations and have been willing to talk and share stories and listen- thank you so much. It has been wonderful sharing support and commiserating.

With the mortgage industry going the way it is, I may just request extra radiation, become a pot smoker, and train monkeys at the zoo to throw pooh. It is about as profitable and and way more fun.

That is it for tonight. Time to watch Amazing Race and Fight Club. Does anyone know how I can get on Amazing race? I have some good story lines that they could exploit. Fight Club is just research for my next career. Now I needs to eat some watercrest sprouts, garbanzo beans, and fresh beets. Those monkeys are gonna freak out when I hot box them and cover them in purple.

The keppra may be affecting my sense of humor.